GLAD CHALLENGES DOMA § 3

Yesterday GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders) filed this lawsuit against the Federal Government for discrimination against same-sex married couples.

I think this is great that legal disparaties are brought out into the open even more, and action is started in the areas where the problem was created - in the Federal Courts.

It seems shameful, that our country's leaders have stated that "All men are created equal" in so many instances, like our Declaration of Independence, Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, Martin Luther King Jr's I Have a Dream speech, and several others, yet our Federal Government still (but maybe not much longer) upholds laws which identifies certain categories of people to be second class.

Some states, and more states over time, have revised laws to eliminate discrimination against people due to any type of identifiable characteristic.   That seems to be the better way for this world to embrace diversity, as we are now all living in a global culture, mixing together with people from other countries, other cultures, other religions and beliefs, and all shapes, sizes, ages, colors, lifestyles, appearances, family situations, etc.

Luckily, our history has shown our people to revise laws to improve our treatment toward each other - eliminating discrimination against race and sex, granting women the right to vote, granting interracial couples the right to marry, and others.   There are still a few more things to fix going forward, but we seem to be heading there.

My First Marathon!

After 4 months of training with Team In Training, today I ran and completed the Napa Valley Marathon!  I did it!

I think many people who get over their mid-age crisis tend to get into endurance sports like marathon running.  It was a great experience for me too - be able to stay fit, meet a lot of other great people, and do something valuable for others in need.

Running a marathon is an awesome experience.  A lot of the fun, especially with Team In Training, is all the weeks of training that happens before the actual event.  Weekly training activities with a group of other similar people running their first marathon.  We're all in it together.

For weeks past Napa marathoners were telling us that the course is beautiful, and that last year race conditions were ideal - beautiful weather, and a fast tail-wind on a rolling but overall downhill course.   As we approached the last few days before the marathon (March 1st), the weather forecast indicated rain on race day.

So we ran the race in the rain - all 26.2 miles of it...   Race conditions could have been better.  But the Team reminded us that just as in life - there are some things we can't control, and some things we can.  We can't control the weather, so just deal with it, and prepare for wet conditions.  But we can use all the skills we learned from training to prepare our body and minds.

Since I started training for this in November I've done my fair share of running races.  3 half marathons, and many more 5K and 10K races on the weekends.  I'm happy that all the training has improved me greatly in all those races.  But today's marathon (in the wet weather) totally undermined me.  Even though I'm extremly proud to have finished and am very glad to have gone through this experience and would recommend anyone else to do so too, this was the most grueling, painful, and character-testing experience I have ever been through.

Running in the rain, I felt every mile step by step, watching each mile marker pass by, slowly.  I started off with a fairly fast pace, and did the first 10-13 miles pretty well.  But my legs died after that, and the entire second half was the most painful race I have ever run.  Part of this is that I always choose to run for a fast time and strong performance, vs. taking it easy to enjoy the run.  So I can only blame myself.   Watching the mile markers go by from 14 to 26 was painful.  From mile 20 my legs were cramping regularly, and I cried almost the entire final 5-6 miles, smiling only when passing the race photographers on the road.

The other reminder Team In Training told us was to run the first half with our legs, but run the second half with our heart.   When I ran with my heart I cried.  I wondered why I put myself up to this.  Why did I have to feel all this pain.   I just wish I could finish this race quickly so I could go take a hot shower and go home and be with my family.  But I also cried thinking about why I signed up to do this - to raise funds for cancer research so that we could help others who are in greater need, and who are likely feeling more pain than I am every single day.  I also cried for all the supporters and donors who helped me go through this program with all their contributions, to help with the cancer research, while I provide the vehicle to make it happen.   I could not let them down.

I will write down my marathon story at my Team In Training fundraising website shortly.  One lesson I learned from this experience, is that there are still a lot of good people out there, usually very different from the ones we assume.  So if there is one next step I'd like to do, it's to continue this training with more marathons in the future, not just as a participant, but as a mentor too, and to encourage other people to join a similar program, to help not just themselves, but to help others too.

Prop 8 in California - What Next?

Election Day is a few days past us now, and most are glad to have Obama as our President-Elect.

In California and nationwide, many are still sad that Prop 8 passed in California, as well as similar anti-gay marriage laws in Arizona and Florida, to pass constitutional bans for anti-gay marriages. Soon after the election, an article on time.com explains that the surge in voting for these bans likely came from a large turnout of African-American voters who showed up to vote for Obama, but also greatly voted against same-sex marriages. It seems ironical that one population that has triumphed overcoming racial discrimination with our nation's first African-American president, still does not yet feel similar equality with another group of people facing similar discrimination challenges.

My friend Jennifer Donnelly this week wrote a nice article for WashingtonPost.com - reminding us of all the great things about marriage - whether gay or straight.

Surely there will be continued debates and lawsuits about same-sex marriage in California and in other states. Facebook groups have already started gathering supporters to continue the challenge.

The dangerous and sad thing about banning same-sex marriage is that our legal system has given power to the majority to legalize discrimination. Eventually, this will go away when future generations become the majority and laws are redecided. Throughout history, we've gone through many cycles where new ways of thinking were declared heresy and against common law, and people being different were often persecuted, ostracized, and oppressed. Whether it was believing the earth not being the center of the universe, believing the sun not being the center of the universe, believing the earth to be round, treating people of color equally, treating people of different genders equally, treating people of different sexual orientation equally, etc. - people believing in these new ideas always suffered to pave the way for future generations.

What if the world applied the thinking of banning anti-gay marriages to other similar situations? Here's what might happen (written with a large dose of sarcasm and cynicism):

- Because (only) a man and woman are intended to marry to create a family, maybe we'll have laws or taxes on couples if they do not intend to have children. After all, a marriage is intended to create a family and children, right? That would be crime not to have children, if one person didn't want children and the other did. It would take one eligible person away from the potential parent pool - what a shame.

- Maybe we'll have laws or taxes on parents who cannot have children for medical reasons? If you can't have children, too bad. Survival of the fittest. Why enable people to have children via technology if they can't create children in the first place. Should a natural (meaning naturally capable?) man and woman who are unable to create a family be granted the right to be or stay married? (by wording of Prop 8 - those who not natural marriage candidates should have their marriage rights removed)

- Maybe adoption should no longer be allowed - against the law. If you can't have children yourself, too bad. Adopting children is not natural.

Maybe there will be new laws extending to other groups of people...

- Maybe someone will propose a law or constitutional amendment to say that the U.S. President cannot be a woman - because men have always been president, and that model has always worked in our history and we're used to it. So it doesn't make sense to have a woman as president because of her gender. The world would not be used to it.

- Maybe someone will propose a law or constitutional amendment to say that women should not be CEO's of companies or have the right to work as (name any position) in a company - because historically that was the standard for a LONG time, and let's go back to that standard.

- Maybe someone will propose a law or constitutional amendment to say that people of a certain race or color should be treated differently, because they are different - because the world was that way for a long time, and let's go back to that standard.

In a global world of diversity now, it's sad to see so many are still living in homogeneous communities and still unaware of diverse people, and hence still scared of people different than themselves, or the stereotypical accepted images and profiles that they're trying to live up to themselves but sometimes are not.

Still, progress is being made and the right model will come through eventually.
In 2000 California voters voted 61% to ban gay marriages.
This year in 2008 it was only 52% that voted the same way. This shows that many heterosexuals are now supporting the gay equality movement.
Maybe the next time we vote for the same issue, more will be thinking with an open mind.
Good luck to everyone for a more equal and understanding world.

Connecticut Allows Gay Marriage

Another history news day today, as the Connecticut Supreme Court ruled that gay couples have the right to get married. Connecticut is now the 3rd state to allow same-sex marriages, after Massachusetts and California.

The AP news article quotes Gov. M. Jodi Rel as saying, "I do not believe their voice reflects the majority of the people of Connecticut," which is probably very true...

When Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation to free slaves, "Public opinion as a whole was against it." This always seems to be a common theme in our world history every time a new law or discovery comes around to improve human rights (support for gay rights), to reduce or end discrimination (anti-discrimination on race, color, etc.), or to set facts straight (stating the Earth NOT being in the center of the solar system or the universe). It seems that there's always a large group of people wanting to hang on to the traditional view at the expense of others, or their own fates, but eventually it gives way to a new truth down the line.

Another Restroom for Transgender People

A couple days ago, another news article appeared describing how the University of Manchester in England has renamed their restrooms from "Men" and "Women" to a more practical label - "toilets with urinals" and "toilets."

Although not quite elegant, this is another effort to address appropriate usage of restrooms for men, women, or transgendered people. Let the user decide.

Earlier this year another article appeared describing a Thailand secondary school designating a bathroom specifically for transgender people, labeling it the "transvestite toilet." This label in Thailand actually does not have a strong stigma as it does in the U.S., as transgender people in Thailand are quite common.

The bathroom issue still remains to be a large mental issue for most people - both traditional men and women and for transgender people. For transgender individuals going through a formal transition plan in a company with anti-discrimination policies on gender identity and/or gender expression, typically the bathroom usage policy guides the transitioning individual to use the appropriate restroom matching his/her new gender identity post-transition, to help the transition be successful and to help the individual be accepted in the newly assumed identity.

More examples of facilities usage by transgender people in company transition plans is well explained by Dr. Jillian T. Weiss, an expert on Transgender issues who addresses the topic in her blog, website, and book, Transgender Workplace Diversity: Policy Tools, Training Issues and Communication Strategies for HR and Legal Professionals.

Transgender Discrimination Victory over Library of Congress

Another post here, only a little belated this time.

A few days ago, a sex discrimination lawsuit in D.C. ruled in favor of the transgender individual, Diane Schroer, a retired a U.S. Army General as David, and recently was offered a job at the Library of Congress. When notifying the employer of her intent to transition, the new job was rescinded, for no practical reason other than gender discrimination.

This is an important victory against discrimination, not just on gender. It turns out that our U.S. Federal Government is still discriminatory to the LGBT community, unlike state governments which are gradually introducing more anti-discrimination laws, and corporations who are leading the country and worldwide working environments with anti-discriminatory policies and increasing instances of benefits support for the LGBT community.

Many, if not all, policies regarding the U.S. Federal Government, do not state or enforce any anti-discrimination policies for LGBT people. When LGBT people receive benefits from forward thinking corporate benefits plans, they are still taxed on the financial support as income. This is very different than benefits granted to traditional spouses. And this happens IF benefits are granted in the first place and not withheld due to exclusions to domestic partners or transgendered individuals, which still happens quite frequently.

I will be following this trend further as well.

2008 Out and Equal Workplace Summit

Still new to blogging here, so I haven't gotten into the habit of blogging immediately yet....

A couple weeks ago I attended the 2008 Out and Equal Workplace Summit in Austin, TX, and taught my workshop on Gender Virtualization to the conference audience of the LGBT community and Fortune 500 HR and Diversity professionals. The corporate professionals attend to study the latest LGBT issues and try to improve corporate policies and benefits to make a safer and more productive working environment for all of us.

Transgender was a popular topic at the Summit this year. My Gender Virtualization topic also seemed to resonate with the Transgender community quite well, as there does seem to be a very large population of MtF transgender people who are unable or not ready to undergo a complete transition to the opposite gender. Those remaining "in the middle" may still consider themselves transgender and may need some guidance and support to better understand themselves and to stay productive in their personal and professional lives.

I also found that once these individual discover themselves, as with most other LGBT members, a large burden is removed, the person is much happier, and we get a much more pleasant and productive person to be with in our personal and professional circles.